The Perfect Storm
It was the perfect storm.
Jax was up 3 times the night before. I was exhausted.
Both my husband and mom are out of town.
The kids were not themselves— super fussy… it wasn’t even 8 am.
I was empty.
We had been up for hours already and I just snapped.
Marlie was not listening and I yelled…screamed at her.
There was an immediate guilt. She did not deserve that.
She looked horrified and began to cry. I could not believe I allowed myself to get to that place.
Now Imagine —You just yelled at your kids. And I mean, yelled.
Despite your best efforts to stay calm, you lost your cool.
Words were said and now can’t be taken back.
It all happened so fast.
But now, it’s over— where do we go from here?
We have ALL been there.
Immediately I hugged her and apologized for yelling at her and we cried it out.
I explained to her that it was not okay what she was doing or how I reacted and asked her if we can redo this day.
We started singing “Shake your sillies out” and clapped our crazies out together. It changed the mood and the course of the day.
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Shake your Sillies out
For one, I am normally such a relaxed and calm parent. I want Marlie to know that we are her safe place. That she can feel comfortable expressing her emotions to us.
Although this is true, we do set our boundaries and discipline using positive parenting (more about that at the end of the blog!) I normally do not get to a place where I feel the need to yell like I did. :-(
For a while, I couldn’t shake the guilt. I felt as if I had ruined her.
I called my friend and she reassured me that it does not make me a bad mom, Marlie will be okay and we ALL get there.
It is hard for me to share this because no one likes to share their vulnerabilities and downfalls, but I am sharing this because—
We. Are. Human.
You are not alone. We are not perfect. We are doing our best.
And motherhood is just that f*cking hard.
Marlie with her own Ergo — I can’t handle the cuteness
Some days are easier than others, but for those days when you feel empty like I was I am reminding you to breathe and communicate how you are feeling! I am working on it daily.
We can’t go back and change what we have done, but what we can do is learn from those mistakes and work towards always learning and growing to find the best version of ourselves.
Many of you ask how I “stay so positive” and many people tell me that Marlie (2 years old) is so well behaved and independent— I credit a lot to the positive parenting method and believe this is the best for us and the environment we want to create for our kids.
Here are some resources if you are interested in learning more about the way we parent our kiddos!
Positiveparentingconnection.net
From https://www.thepragmaticparent.com/best-parenting-books/
To Be a calmer parent
Increase patience
Learn how to empathy, give choices and help my kids become confident & independent
Connect with kids, even in the midst of discipline
Help my children talk about emotions and help them to open up so I understand what they’re feeling
Stay in-tune to personal triggers so I don’t place my own baggage on my kids in times of stress or frustration
Remain calm and keep a peaceful home even during a tantrum or “kid crisis”
Top 10 books: